Passing

Dream

I like to dream.

I don't have control over whether I dream, but I like to. And not just happy dreams. Nightmares, you call them. Is it the thrill? Is it the lasting shivers that seep into your veins? Is it the creativity? Is it the inability to pause?

I don't know.

Sometimes the joy is nonexistent. A psychopath? Has he gone mad? I've dreamt of my ending in this particular world. A mistake. A calculation. Countless.

How will my parents react? My brother? Will the empty spaces ever be filled? What mark have I left in this world? It's daunting. What now feels like my story has started, is over. There will never be another chapter. A page. A sentence. A word. Just a sudden halt.

It's the end.

Ghosts

Are ghosts real?

I never believed in them, and never will, but they've always fascinated me, the way they intrude and intervene with the world they can no longer grasp and feel.

What must it be like? Clawing at your loved ones with no hope? Gazing at the restaurants you once called your second home? Losing not just your physical senses but your sense of belonging?

We'll never know...

Ghosts don't captivate me because I believe in them. None of my thoughts are from the perspective of reality, but from film-TV shows, dramas, documentaries. I especially enjoy the movies.

It's fiction! We never have, and never will have to live through the agony. At least that's what I deem true.

And I always find the endings ironic. Ghosts—at least from what I've seen—are numberless, and when the tale of one ghost ends, the same sorrowful experience will happen to another. It's endless. But the movie screens always seem to conclude with the same two words:

The End.

Faith

"We will all reunite in heaven" is what I have always been told. I come from a Catholic household and visit church every Sunday. Until now, I have believed in one certainty. Have faith in God and Christ, repent, and strive for good. And when the time comes, I will be graciously given eternal life in heaven.

I fathom heaven.

What does it look like? Smell? Feel?

Is it a new beginning? Am I the same? Different? I am always left wondering, pondering the question with no answer.

Is it the end?

Timeless

Tick tock.

Time's a funny concept we humans created, something we can't apply in the afterlife. It's difficult for me to comprehend—how our days are not limited, how no matter how hard we try to run away there will always be a tomorrow.

Do we even sleep? Maybe there is no such thing as "tomorrow." Heaven is a pleasant place, and possibly so pleasant time unknowingly slips our minds. It's really both frightening and peaceful when you think about it.

There is no end.

Present

Death is far and near at the same time—we never know the pace of our end soaking us completely. Rather than dwelling too long about tomorrow, think today. Relish the memorable and meaningful moments you come across. Wake up every morning and think Thank you. Work hard and communicate. Live to the fullest. Laugh. Love.